Friday, September 21, 2012



So, you wanna know what I want?

I want to be in love so much it hurts. The frissons. The pin pricks. The mind-blowing about the future. The connection. And I want to be married with kids I adore and a husband who makes me feel safe, sexy, smart, secure, silly, serious, salacious, sinful. serene, satisfied, I want someone who makes me laugh until chocochino milk comes out my nose (only I don't drink milk). I want to finish someone's sentences. I want to believe in someone, in something, in a future that's not just about laundry and soccer practice and subdivisions and guilt-tripping grandparents. I want to make someone a better person. I want to be good example. I want to love some kids into the world. I want someone who stimulates my brain as much as my body. I want to taste everything and go everywhere. I want to give and I want to get. I want too much and I want it all in one person.

So, what do I want from you? That's hard to say because it's not really about want, it's about WISH! Do I wish you were that person for me? YES! Do I wish that you weren't married with kids and that I wasn't living with someone and that even though we work together we could explore the possibilities and that all my dreams would come true? Duh. BUT you are, and I am, and we can't and they won't. So the question is, do I want just a little, or I should say, a little more? Sure, all the time I do. But I know a little's not going to be enough and then I'll want more. And then maybe I won't want more, but you will. or you won't and I will. And then there will be nothing and I don't want that at all.

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